GROWING edible pineapples in Britain is surprisingly easy. Admittedly, you’ll be waiting about five years for your first crop, the pineapples are much smaller than those from the supermarket and once a plant has produced a single fruit it dies, so achieving self-sufficiency is unlikely. But the smell and taste of a just-picked pineapple, as compared to even the freshest shop-bought fruit, is a revelation.

Start with a whole pineapple from the shop, if possible choosing one with a green, firm, fresh-looking tuft of leaves. When you’re ready to eat it, first cut off the top of the fruit, so that you’ve got the leaves along with about half an inch (1.25cm) depth of fruit. Leave that on the kitchen counter for a day or two to dry out a bit, which makes it easier to handle.

You now need to remove all the soft, sticky flesh from around the core of the stem, which is visible at the centre of the half-inch “collar” of fruit. If the pineapple is exactly dry enough and precisely ripe enough, this will come away easily, as if it’s perforated. If not, you’ll have to do it some violence with a very sharp knife.

Once the stem is clean of flesh, start pulling off the lower leaves until you’ve exposed an inch (2.5cm) of clear stem. Finally, trim the bottom of your inch of stem so that no sticky, fruity flesh clings to it.


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Plant the prepared cutting upright in a 4” (10cm) pot, with all of the exposed stem buried, in a 50-50 mixture of multi-purpose compost and horticultural grit.

I’ve started pineapples in this way at various times of year and the season doesn’t appear to make much difference: most take, while a few rot away without managing to form roots. Avoiding extremes of temperature, both high and low, would seem sensible. In the winter it may be helpful to put the plant in an electric propagator for a few weeks until it roots.

Once your pineapple is growing, it needs to be kept indoors, in good natural light and gentle warmth. A conservatory is ideal, but a bright windowsill or table will do. They are good-looking plants, so you won’t mind having it on show; just be aware that the long leaves have sharp points, so mind your fingers when you’re dusting them.

From spring until autumn I feed the plants weekly with a seaweed-based houseplant fertiliser and stand them on capillary matting so that they can regulate their own watering.

After a few years of steady growth and being gradually potted on into larger pots as they become too big for their existing containers, pineapples will suddenly produce a single, quite large flower in the spring.

The fruit itself follows and slowly swells over the next few months. When it’s yellow and has a strong pineapple scent at close range, it’s ready to eat. Don’t forget to cut off its top so that you can start over again.