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Human Resources
By Alastair Mcleish

Eyes like a whippet’s balls
HR man does his roll call,
Since Friday he’s been gunning
To hit this morning running.
A long, morose weekend
He’ll never recommend,
Confesses all day Sunday
To wishing it was Monday.

His live team-building shows
Mock Sisyphus’s throes,
How he took his labour ill
With his boulder on that hill.
For by HR’s broad shoulder,
He would have loved that boulder,
Can’t slavery be a ball?
All for one, and one for all?

Of course, we’d never praise
Chillaxed, enlightened ways,
Or make a futile fuss
At how HR belittles us,
(We’re losers, punks, dead-ends
Sluggards, nine-to-five’s friends)
To us, a pinch of salt
No point in finding fault,
Like Death, we can’t o’erthrow
A team-building road show.

The 95th Anniversary Appeal
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